Service to the Armed Forces
Military
Spouse
- Do
something special to welcome your spouse home-help the children make a welcome
banner, make your spouse's favorite dessert, etc., but be understanding and
flexible if your spouse is too tired to notice.
- Give your
spouse time to adjust to being home. Don't tightly schedule activities for
them. Don't expect them to take on all their old chores right away. Understand
that your spouse may need time to adjust to a different time zone, a change in
food, etc.
- Plan on
some family togetherness time. Suggest a picnic or a special family meal. Time
together helps the returning spouse to get back into the rhythm of family
life.
- Be
patient and tolerant with your spouse. He or she may not do things exactly as
before. New experiences during deployment may bring changes to attitude and
outlook.
- Stick to
your household budget. Don't spend money you don't have on celebrating your
spouse's return. Show you care through your time and effort.
- Don't be
surprised if your spouse is a little hurt by how well you were able to run the
household and manage the children without them. Let them know that your
preference is to share family and household responsibilities with them no
matter how well you did on your own.
- Stay
involved with your children's school activities and interests. Don't neglect
the children's need for attention as you are becoming reacquainted with your
spouse.
- Stay
involved in your own activities and interests, but be flexible about making
time for your spouse.
- Don't be
surprised if children test the limits of the family rules when your spouse
returns. It's normal for children to want to find out how things may have
changed by acting up a bit. Consistent enforcement of family rules and
even-handed discipline are key to dealing with acting out.
Remember:
- Go
slowly - don't try to make up for lost time
- Accept that
your partner may be different
- Intimate
relationships may be awkward at first
- Take time
to get reacquainted
- Forget your
fantasies
- Reassure
your children
- Seek help
for family members if needed
(Developed by
David Gretsch, Mobilization & Development, Ft. Hood MWR)
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Deployment
Checklist
General
ü
Attend
mobilization meetings and take notes
ü
Know the
exact name of unit
ü
Know the
names and ranks of chain of command
ü
Have a
copy of your service member's orders
ü
Know
service member's travel itinerary
ü
Know
service member's full name, social security number, and complete military
address
ü
Have
emergency plans in place
Your
Finances
ü
Plan
ahead
ü
Discuss
what and when bills are due, where receipts are kept, etc.
ü
Have
enough saved
ü
Create
family budget
Around the
House
ü
Extra set
of car keys
ü
List of
repair persons to call
ü
Location
of utility (water/electricity/gas) shut off valves
ü
Know your
neighbors
Family
Matters
ü
Child
care plan
ü
Elder
care plan
ü
Emergency
plan for pets
Legal
Affairs
ü
Have
Will
ü
Have
Power of Attorney
ü
Have
Military I.D.
Communications
ü
Pre-addressed, stamped post cards,
pens
ü
Seek
counseling if necessary
Red
Cross
ü
Know how
to contact your local American Red Cross
ü
Know name
of local Red Cross
ü
Know
address of local Red Cross
ü
Know telephone numbers
To reach the Grand Canyon Chapter of the American
Red Cross,
call 1-800-842-7349. Someone is available to assist you 24
hours-a-day.
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How to Use the Red Cross During Family Emergencies
If your loved one is away from home because of military duty
and you need to get in touch with him or her in the event of an emergency, then
the American Red Cross is there to assist.When calling
the Red Cross, please provide as much of the following information about the
service member as is known:
- Full name
- Rank/rating
- Branch of
service (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard)
- Social
Security Account number or date of birth
- Military
address
Information
about the deployed unit and home base unit (for deployed service members
only)
The Red Cross
verifies this information and relays it to the appropriate command where it is
up to the military whether the service member returns home. Remember, a service
member can only come home in an emergency situation.
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Deployment
Tips for Returning Military Members
- Plan on
spending some time with the entire family doing family things, but be flexible
if teens have other plans.
- Show
interest and pleasure in how your family members have grown and mastered new
skills in your absence and let them know you are proud of them. Comment on
positive changes.
- Expect it
will take a little time to become reacquainted with your spouse. Be sure to
tell them just how much you care about them.
- Resist the
temptation to criticize. Remember that your spouse has been doing his or her
best to run the household single-handedly and care for the children while you
were gone.
- Take time
to understand how your family may have changed during the separation. Go easy
on child discipline-get to know what new rules your spouse may have set before
you jump into enforcing the household rules.
- Don't be
surprised if some family members are a bit resentful of your deployment.
Others often think of the deployment as more fun and exciting than staying at
home-even if you know otherwise.
- Infants and
small children may be shy or even fearful around you at first. Be patient and
give them time to become reacquainted.
- Resist the
temptation to go on a spending spree to celebrate your return. The extra money
saved during deployment may be needed later for unexpected household expenses.
- Most
importantly, make time to talk with your loved ones. Your spouse and each
child need individual time and attention from you. Remember, focus on the
positives and avoid criticism.
Communication will
help to:
·
Reestablish intimate and sexual
relations
·
Bring you
closer together
·
Accept
change
Remember:
·
Go slowly
- don't try to make up for lost time
·
Spend
quality time with each child
·
Accept
that your partner may be different
·
Intimate
relationships may be awkward at first
·
Take time
to get reacquainted
·
Forget
your fantasies
(Developed by David Gretsch, Mobilization &
Development, Ft. Hood MWR)
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